All the Little Things

by John Flores

New relationships are the best. We spend so much time proving to our new love interest that we are the perfect match for them. We do all the “little things” and we listen, we pay attention. We WANT to know what makes you happy and what it’s going to take to make this relationship work because making YOU happy makes US happy! We take the time to learn about this person because it’s important to us. In turn, the other reciprocates and what you have is a perfectly functioning relationship. And then something happens…slowly but surely, you stop doing those “little things”, you stop listening and now you just “expect” things and when expectations aren’t met, it’s easy to blame the other person. Very few us ever think its “us” and we are so quick to point the finger. I’m guilty of this myself, I spend my time “chasing” girls and when I finally get them, I kind of stop doing the things that got them to like me, then they start complaining and then I automatically accuse them of being “crazy” and then it’s all downhill from there. So either I’m not picking the right girls or I’m just not staying consistent enough to be in a relationship. I know this is supposed to be a blog about the pups but stick with me, I’m going somewhere with this…

When I first got Penny (and eventually Elvis), I wanted so much to prove that pit bulls are not monsters that I spent most of my time socializing, training and researching about how to be the best “pack leader” for my dogs. I was on a mission to prove to the whole world just how good these dogs could be. Especially, Penny and Elvis! So day after day, we would go on a walk and we would do our exercises. In turn, they would listen, pose pretty for Instagram and Facebook and next thing you know, we had a fully functioning and happy relationship. And you could tell, because everyone was smiling in their pictures and of course everything you see on social media is true, right? Right? Yeah, right.

Well, as the dogs got better, I stopped doing the “little things”. The walks started getting shorter and more inconsistent. We didn’t do our exercises as much as we used to. I just kind of expected the dogs to just be good because that is what I taught them and they should just know better. Slowly but surely, they were “listening” a little less. Penny went from never jumping on people to jumping on SOME people. Elvis starting bolting through the door when I had spent so much time teaching him to back away from the door so I could go out first. They went from the most well behaved dogs in CGC class to the dogs that looked bored and wouldn’t listen. All the work I had put in was slowly just going by the wayside. Sure, they sat nice for pictures but having your dog sit for 5 seconds to take a pic hardly tells the story of a relationship. Anyone can take a break from reality to hold hands, hug and smile for a camera.

Admittedly, Kurtis took up a lot of my time during this realization but Kurtis had nothing to do with Penny and Elvis. There was no excuse for not paying attention to my family because of outside influences. So for the first time in a relationship, instead of blaming the other person, I took responsibility for my actions. I looked at the things I wasn’t doing anymore and started doing them again. I started doing the “little things” again. I started giving my dogs the structure and consistency that they responded so well to and now my dogs are getting back to the way I’ve been raising them.

I guess my point of this is no matter what you choose to do in life; consistency is probably the most important ingredient to making any relationship successful. Effort is key but inconsistent effort just turns into confusion. Consistency breeds success. Yes, I know we all have bad days and “life” happens but our family (and dogs) IS our life. There is no excuse to not pay attention to the people we love. Especially, the beings in our lives that is just genuinely happy to see us when we walk in the door.

John Flores

Recommended Posts

Through No Fault of Their Own Part V

September 12, 2017

A Letter To The Men of Pawsitive Change at Corcoran State Prison

September 06, 2017

No Fault of Their Own Part IV

August 22, 2017